How to insure that Spain wins the Euro Cup, or World Cup, or whatever international soccer tournament you want: Otto, the secret weapon. During the 2008 Euro Cup, Spain met Otto, a voodoo doll looking like a soccer player who is already barely able to limp off the field. We only found Otto this week, but we’re ready to put him to use for the World Cup. Since he comes with 24 different national flags, we’re able to help either Spain or the US defeat all challengers.
Alex translates Otto’s packaging:
Guarantee the victory of your favorite team
In your hands lay Otto, a magical figure, an authentic amulet known for changing the destiny of soccer matches. With Otto, getting goals is as easy as scoring goals when there isn't a goalie.
With the help of this prodigious talisman the triumph of your favorite soccer team is a piece of cake; the success rate is monstrous. Finish with unfair judgments from the umpire like fouls and penalty kicks, and leave behind the suffering that comes in the last couple minutes of a game. This year, with Otto, your team will win.
How to use Otto
All that you have to do is hold Otto in your left hand and place the flag of the opposing team on his shirt. Close your eyes and concentrate and hope and wish with all your strength that your team will score a goal.
Next, pick up a pin and hold it firmly with your index finger and insert the pin into whichever part of Otto that you would like to see reflected in your opponent. Finish by inserting the remaining 3 needles, but measure your euphoria, so that later it hits you even harder.
Immediately afterward you should see the effects. The game should rapidly change face and your team will kick some butt.
Be careful with the voodoo doll, it is not a toy, but rather an important tool.
Recommended age: older than sixteen, but even this with adult supervision.
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