The Dia Zone Daily

All the regulars were working The Dia Zone door this evening: Jack’s friend Christian from Sudan (who speaks much better English than we do Spanish), Nipple Shaver Man, and the woman who has been seen on occasion picking things out of Nipple Man’s hair. When we approached, Nipple Man and the woman (as yet nameless) had quite a crowd stopped at the entrance. She appeared to be offering a service that looked suspiciously like she was checking people’s ears for something. Alex declined my offer to support an ear check for him. We walked in with a chuckling old woman. Sure, she could understand what was really going on.

Inside: Bienvenido a la Zona del Dia!/Welcome to The Dia Zone! As ever, there was the post-purchase line waiting for change. But today, I came prepared with small bills so I could walk right by those guys who bought a six pack with a €50 note. Today, I had no intention of having an embarrassment-induced hot flash in this store!

On the way out, Alex asked if I had the requisite small change ready for our friend Christian. Jack’s away, so I’m on duty doling out Christian’s allotment. I had change ready for both Christian and the woman. For some reason I was prepared for two beggars but not three. So on the way out I handed change to both Christian and the woman. And as I walked away Nipple Man complained bitterly to the others: “She gave me nada! Nada!” Alex was a little embarrassed at my oversight. So I got some more change out that Alex could go back and give to Nipple Man. Alas, Alex refused. But emboldened by a language victory at the previous store, I decide to go back and even it up for Nipple Man. Really, it was unfair of me.

His eyes opened wide as I walked right up to him. He had no idea what was coming. I dropped the change into his hand. “Para tí. Lo siento./For you. I’m sorry.” He gave me bows of gratitude. “Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias, senora!” And I walked away with the smug satisfaction that I answered his complaint because I actually understood what he said. We both scored.