The Dia Zone / La Zona del Dia

The Dia is the cheapo grocery store a half a block away. We go there almost every day to get milk or butter or toilet paper. Our kitchen is probably about standard by Spanish or European standards, but by American standards, it is very small. We call it our Barbie Doll kitchen. So, we have to shop often since there is no storage space. Therefore, we have to make frequent visits to The Dia Zone.

One of the first things we noticed when we got here was that the cashiers are really, really grumpy. Always. Generally, I am insecure about offending people. So I assume when someone is grumpy it is because I have offended them. In the early days here, I assumed that I offended the Dia Grumps by not speaking fast enough, by touching the fruit (I couldn’t read the sign that said not to), because I couldn’t understand how much they said I owed, because I couldn’t get my money counted fast enough, by simply being American. I don’t know. I just assumed that it was my fault.

I would spend every minute that I had to wait in line reciting over and over in my head what I needed to say to the Dia Grump. But eventually, I noticed that those ladies were grumpy with everyone else, too. This helped me relax. And once I started to relax, I could look around and see what was going on around me. And that’s when we started to call it The Dia Zone.

First, they don’t have enough change. Dia is a very large chain of grocery stores. It is not a mom and pop operation. You might expect that they would be well equipped and well stocked. But you would be wrong. The most surprising shortage they have is their lack of change. They simply don’t have enough small bills or coins to give their customers change.

At first I assumed it was my problem. The bank machine doles out 50 Euro notes. Eventually you have to use the darn things. The cashier would look at me in disgust and ask if I had anything smaller. “No. Lo siento. I’m so sorry, no, I don’t have anything smaller.” She would grumble and slap the change in my hand.

Later though, Jack came home from the Dia reporting that they simply didn’t have change. He had run out for one small item and was gone for almost an hour. He had stood in line forever waiting for each person in front of him to go through the same routine with the Grumps. No change. People in line were pulling lint out of their pockets looking for exact change. People went through the checkout only to learn that they couldn’t buy their groceries because the cashier had no change. Abandoned groceries littered the narrow aisle. What to do? And still the Grump stood at her cash register: “Next?”

And so it goes. Now I only go to the Dia when I have small bills and lots of coins. Interesting approach to commerce in a cash based society. But, I’m learning and trying to adapt. They also run out of other standard items such as tissues, yogurt, soap, etc. Everyone is paranoid about el Gripe (the flu), so I can see the run on tissues, but it’s darn inconvenient.

The Dia Zone has other treats as well. There is always a homeless person stationed at the door begging. There are three regulars, one of whom Jack has befriended. Once a week Jack gives him a Euro, and Jack is rewarded with no hassles for the rest of the week. Now that he’s seen Jack and me together, I think he has extended this courtesy to me as well. This man is simply delightful now, always ready with an eager smile and “Buenas! ¿Que tal?”

I caught one of the regular homeless chaps outside the Dia last Saturday afternoon engaged in his ablutions. I kid you not, the man was shaving his breast. One side of his chest was hairy as could be while he worked away at the other with a disposable razor. When I came out of the Dia he was dry shaving his face.

Mind you, this is not a bad neighborhood by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a great neighborhood. I feel absolutely safe here, and love that we had the good fortune to land here. I think this is just living in the big city.

Or rather, I think it is living in La Zona del Dia. Always interesting. Always an adventure. Just like the rest of Madrid.