Telecambio

Remember back in November when I decided to practice my verb tense conjugations on the telemarketer from Jazztel - the main opposition phone/internet service provider in Spain? At the time, I was trying to get them to stop calling.

They have recently started calling again. And I've been working on a new idea: keep them on the line for as long as possible.

I thought that I would approach the telemarketer as an intercambio opportunity: the telemarketer would get to practice his sales pitch, and I would get to practice my Spanish. Most people in language class are eager to set up intercambios. I find it difficult to get over the awkwardness. But this anonymity would be my perfect cover. No need to feel embarrassed since I wouldn't know who I was talking to. And no need to feel guilty about subjecting someone to such a boring conversation since I didn't initiate the call. Jazztel has been wasting our time for months. Turnabout is fair play, right? I just needed to wait for the phone to ring again.

So tonight we had a little dinner entertainment. Jazztel called and asked for Juan Patreek and gave me my first telecambio.

I explained that Juan was unable to come to the phone because he was eating dinner, but I had a number of questions. Okay, I didn't understand a lot of what she said. But it was fun. I kept asking questions, doing my best to keep the conversation going, using new grammar. Unlike a conversation with someone in person, this time I just kept correcting myself until I finally got each sentence right. The woman must have been absolutely desperate for a commission to stay on the line.

It was great.

Until she said something that sounded suspiciously like she was sending a contract that I could cancel within the next 15 days if I changed my mind. That's when I realized I could be in trouble, and I started to panic a little. Finally she asked if someone else in the house spoke better Spanish. Little did she know that Alex was waiting in the wings chomping at the bit to take over.

He began (in quick Spanish with a decent accent that made us proud), "My mother is just talking to you to practice her Spanish. We do not want your internet service." And on he went for another several minutes while the rest of us listened and laughed. He did make sure that we weren't roped into a contract. Thank goodness.

It worked out so well that I have a new idea. Tomorrow I'm going to get the newspaper and seek out new telecambio opportunities to sign up for. It's a gold mine for language students.